How different?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
The guardian that you choose for your children will be different, because all human beings are different, but in what ways are they different?
The differences might be great, pretending to be you certainly won't work, but how will those differences impact your children?
Does the person you are choosing understand that you are fundamentally different? Are they capable of being flexible on certain points, that might be key to your children, can they change their approach?
Can you talk to the person about those differences, or will they get defensive? If you can't talk to them about the differences then your children won't be able to.
But I have already chosen a guardian?
Great, you should still think through this topic. We have to make a lot of choices as parents (or aunts or godparents or whenever we babysit kids), and discussing the choices we make is helpful to both of you.
If you told the guardian that you would love to hear from them, to hear how they make these choices and why, then this would be encouraging for them (who doesn’t love having someone listen to them) and helpful for you too. These decisions are an ongoing thing, discussing it with someone else is helpful to you now, as well as helpful to you both if something were to happen in the future.
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.