Should I choose a grandparent?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
This can be a real flash point in family discussions but ask yourself, are they too old? I don’t mean are they too old to handle a rambunctious toddler, because no doubt you have already thought that through if your children are still toddlers.
I want you to think how old will these people be when your child is 16 years old. When your child thinks they have the experience and knowledge of an adult, and they have just started dating someone who is objectively a bad influence, how old will that potential guardian be? Will they have the energy to deal with that?
If you are thinking about grandparents as guardians then I also want you to ask yourself how old, realistically, will your child be when your parents pass away? Is it possible that your 21-year-old child will have to deal with the loss of their parents, and then also the loss of at least one of their guardians (your parents) all in the first two decades of their life?
Now of course, people die, the guardians might die, but when it comes to older relatives the reality is that those relatives will die while your children are still young. Your 21-year-old may be ready to live outside of the home, but are they ready to lose one or both of their guardians?
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.