Do I need to choose?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
But I am separated from the other parent?
I am often told “I don’t need to choose a guardian, they will just go to my ex”. Well unfortunately life just isn’t that simple. I am not here to answer the family lawyer question though of whether your family can challenge that decision. I am here to look at something far more simple.
I want to strongly encourage you that you still need to do the heavy thinking around choosing a guardian, because life doesn’t always go according to plan.
Let’s assume for a second that you didn’t plan to have a child with someone who you are no longer in a relationship with, the thing is that plans don’t always work out. Perhaps your ex is living overseas or interstate when you die? Perhaps they have a new partner and a new baby and have lost interest? Don’t assume that they will take the kids.
Also, life is unpredictable, are you really going to come back to me if your ex dies and update your Will?
I would still encourage you to think through all of this, and then when you are creating the trust for your kids you would have two things in mind, what happens if they are living with your ex, and what happens if they are living with your chosen guardian.
If you like you can even formally put your ex as the guardian in the Will, so that there is no confusion and no one thinks you are trying to cut the ex out, but then you can name a backup guardian.
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.