How many?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
There are really two questions here -
(1) should I appoint two people jointly?
(2) should I appoint a back up?
In short, the answers maybe, and definitely, yes.
Should I appoint two people jointly?
Maybe.
Now I might be a cynical family lawyer, but seriously consider whether you should be jointly appointing a couple, or just appointing the one person who you are close to. Raising someone else’s children can be tough on a relationship, be careful of inviting a shared care situation where you didn’t intend it and you were just trying to be polite by appointing both of them.
To be even more difficult, I am not saying that you should appoint only one. I am saying that you should think about it, and not appoint the couple simply to be polite. Estate Planning is not a time to simply be polite. If you are worried about people being upset then, as I say frequently to my clients, blame the lawyer. The lawyer told me to just appoint one.
Does it need to be both of them? Could it just be one of them? Are you just appointing your brother in law cause he is married to your sister? Would you actually choose your sister in law even if she wasn't married to your brother? I cannot answer these questions, I am just flagging that you should simply appoint two because it is what is expected of you.
Should I appoint a backup?
Definitely yes.
This is really the same answer, or the same reasoning, as my earlier discussion about whether you should appoint a guardian when you are divorced from your child's other parent. You are not going to go back to your lawyer when your friend dies. I mean you might, but in reality you probably won't. It will go onto your 'to do' list.
You are thinking about it now, you are making tough decisions now, you are doing your Estate Plan now. Don't do it by halves. Choose the backup.
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.