Are they willing?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
You might be surprised to know that I do get asked 'Do I have to ask them'?
Usually, I get this question about Executors but I do also get it about Guardians from time to time. Absolutely you should ask them, you need to have a real conversation about whether they are willing.
Don’t assume that being asked to be a guardian is some blessing that people will happily take upon themselves.
When we had our two kids I sat down and had a serious discussion with my husband about the children who we are appointed guardian for, are we still willing to do that? Can we cope with our two children plus their children? Can we afford to look after our two children plus their children? We agreed that yes we could, but this isn’t something that you should just assume will be fine.
Also if there are certain non-negotiables, such as where the children will live or where they will go to school, are the potential guardians agreeable to that?
Should you ask the backups? Maybe not, that might be something that you just leave there for now. That is really up to you, is that a conversation that you are comfortable having, or would you prefer to just focus on the 'first choice'? If something happens to your 'first choice' then you could go and ask your 'second choice', though of course if they say no then you will need to go back to the lawyer to do the Will again (which you may not do).
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.