Should I choose an older sibling?
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
Should an older sibling become the guardian?
Another controversial statement - please also be very wary of choosing an older child as guardian for a younger child. Of course you want your older child to look out for their sibling but there is a difference between asking someone to be a good, caring older sibling, and asking someone to be a parent.
Asking a young adult to take on parenting responsibilities for a child who has just lost their parent is hard enough, without adding to the mix that said young adult has also just lost their parent. Think back to the post about all the mundane things, laundry, lunches, being your child's general taxi cab service, is that what you want for a young adult?
Seriously consider choosing a separate, different guardian for your younger child (someone who hasn’t just lost a parent) but put something in your Will, for instance make it a requirement of the Trust that the guardian must also allow the older sibling to reside in the house. It should not be the responsibility of your child who is at University or starting their first job to also drive their sibling to school and pick them up everyday, make lunch, run their errands and worry about their homework.
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.