Rose tinted glasses
How do I choose a guardian for my children? It is a big question, a question you hope will be academic and yet it is important to get this right. In March we are looking at the questions that you should ask yourself when making this decision.
When you think about a guardian for your children are you thinking about the fun stuff, the lovely moments, or are you thinking about the every day things that take up most of your time?
The lovely moments do matter, but don’t let that drown out the tougher questions.
I think for many people the things that we weigh up for ourselves when we decide how many children to have, or when to start having children, look very different to the things that we weigh up when we are choosing a guardian for our children if we should die. In reality, those tasks, those duties, they look the same for the parent and the guardian. The guardian though has the added weight and responsibility of a grieving child.
So when you think about a guardian think about the laundry, who in your life has time and patience for that on top of what they are already doing?
Don’t worry that isn’t all you are giving them, of course your children are lovely, I am just asking you to have a serious think about the other stuff too.
But I have already chosen a guardian?
If you are thinking, but I have already chosen a guardian, I want to encourage you that this topic is still important for you to think through. If you are doing this work now, the laundry, lunchboxes and dishes, then you could talk to your potential guardian about that.
Encouraging somebody else, by telling them that they are doing a good job or asking them how they are going with that task, has the added benefit of helping you. By talking about how to manage this work you think through it for yourself.
Estate Planning is overwhelming
Preparing a Will when you have children comes with a lot of decisions, who should be the guardian for my children, what should I tell them, should they control the kids' trust, should they be a beneficiary of the trust, should I tell my family who I have chosen, should I tell my kids? What is a letter of wishes and how does it apply to my kids? Many of the steps we will talk about can be done by you, once you know why and how.
What if your kids are older, can you appoint a guardian for a 17 year old, or a 20 year old? What age should they be before they get the money? What if they need the money before that point?
Would you like to join my free Facebook group where we are discussing all of this, and I have provided a checklist to help you to work through all of the decisions yourself.